invisiblefacts

Weekend is supposed to be just fine. Not that awesome, not that bad. JUST fine.   But this is probably the most idle yet embarrassing Wednesday I ever had. I’d like to conclude it that way. Better to close the bag than filling some more space for unnecessary burden. 

It started with an awesome phone conversation, thru cellphone actually. I didn’t know it was (Sir M) on the phone. I greeted with courtesy, then he heard my voice and recognized me immediately. Ayeee. But I didn’t know that there was something more awesome than this waiting for me, at the bacala. Hahaha. When I went out of the bacala, I went straight to my path, and then I heard someone calling my name. It was him again. Haha. 

But I never knew that I had to repay for my serotonin. Ubos kaagad. BAD TRIP! Everything went out of my way and suddenly I had to lose my discipline. Even Sir M got angry at me. How could he be so inconsiderate. Ana wahid vas. He’s trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t because I had more important things to do than actually entertaining him with the patient’s impatience. Makakain nga ng Leche Flan. KALAGOT jud. 

Despite of the unfavorable situation, I ‘m still grateful that at least I have something to be happy. Happiness is what matters. I don’t want to dwell with any of my miseries. 

I want to be happy. Vas. Kalas. 

I don’t know what to feel about going away from my family, friends, and DAVAO.  It’s hard to leave THEM, especially YOU. CHOS. Haha. This has been the most significant event in my life, turning point of my career I would say.

I had the liberty of declining the offer. I don’t know what took me in, but I said YES. It was just a three letter word and yet it changed everything in me. From meeting my never seen cousins, which by the way I have never dreamt of, up to the mandatory rule of learning to speak Tagalog, this whole experience was just surreal. I had to deal with different people with seemingly interesting intonation of our National Language while I struggle to communicate with them. Not that I don’t know how to speak Tagalog, but for me it’s just so awkward to use it even in the household premises. KALOKA TALAGA. Tagalog mode lang. Haha

I always say that this would be easier if I have someone whom I can share and understand my feelings. Someone like me, a friend maybe, who would join me in this journey and together we’ll conquer the Kingdom of the Arabs. Haha.

I don’t want to think that I making this hard for myself, as my Tatay has said. But I just couldn’t leave everything I am for 22 years and be a stranger at a strange place. Nyahaha.

This journey is such a blessing. I am always grateful to the LORD that HE has given me this opportunity to fulfill my oath as a health care provider. This is what strengthens me despite of the anxieties and fears overcoming my optimism. I couldn’t continue what I have started if not for, AND BECAUSE OF HIM. To GOD                 BE THE GLORY!

My wish is that I could find the joy and happiness in doing my responsibilities as an employee and be able to do the things I love to do – ECG. I really love doing ECG. It’s priceless. It’s everything. Nah, I was just exaggerating. Haha. But for a time, almost 3 months I think, I did ECG the easy and the hard way. I did 100 patients in a day. And I had to arrange the strips pa. Lucky enough, I have my colleagues who unconditionally help me in finishing the task. Even Kuya would help me in cutting and pasting the ECG strips, which is beyond his responsibility.

Miss na nako maging busy. Busy-busyhan lang gud. Haha. I love doing the mobile thing. I miss waking up at dawn, like naunhan pa nimu ang manok ug shagit. Leaving the house when the sun hasn’t shown up yet, nakakaproud lang. I mean, dugay kayo mumata si Mr. Sun. Haler. Hahaha. I miss the beautiful sceneries in different bukids. Awesome. Magnificent. Wagas lang. Everything is so perfect. Gladly, I took ate bless’ offer of joining the team. I had doubts, at first, whether to take it or not because I had fear of acceptance. I didn’t know who I’ll be working with, If they will like me or not. Just those stupid insecurities, that if you will let them sink in, you will probably lose half of your life. Nevertheless, I have gained everything that there is to gain in this whole experience - The knowledge and the WEIGHT. Haha.  This is the part of me that I would never ever take away from me. CHOS.

****Romance is part of this journey but I’d rather take it with me. Complication. I don’t want this to be a revelation. Basig mahimo pang bidensya. Haler. Haha.

Looking back on the days I was totally dying of fears and anxieties, I have regained my strength and inspiration to do this.  This is what they call A LEAP OF FAITH. You owe it all to GOD. Everything you lifted up is happening. But you have not expected the grandeur and majesty of HIS blessing. HE really works in mysterious ways. THANK YOU LORD. J